My week has been good, grateful for my wonderful teachers and classmates. Feeling so strong in their company. In addition, this week’s tasks have been super fun, I felt so happy and satisfied with the result. I rarely feel satisfied and proud of myself and my work.
Feeling more or less often failed and that my work was not good at all. Have such high demands on myself. Feel that I never do the job well enough, that it just got shit from everything and I want to ruin it so that no one else will have time to see my ”ugly” work.
Still struggling with troublesome nightmares after the recent events that shook me. Panic, discomfort and anxiety, every day is the same thing. The fear of meeting the person in question, how going to behave. After my previous post, I received messages from That asked ”if I felt happy to write about what happened ..” later wrote that ”It must feel good to print on social media and blackmail a person ..” Remember not literally what was written… But you understand… I did not mention any names or if it is a female or a man it is about… STILL must write to me and increase my discomfort. My fear. I would NEVER print the names of people without my person’s permission. thinks I’m looking for confirmation via social media.
My instagram has become a platform adventure I can show my floristic works and create a digital portfolio.
My blog is for my sake and for those who want to read who may recognize themselves in my texts. I could never demand or force anyone to read or comment. It is each individual’s choice. I am grateful to those who follow me and read my posts. It makes me happy.
So now we drop that.. Thought i would share pictures from this week’s creations at school. Had so much fun and I have to admit that one of the works looks like chaos, but that’s a bit of a point. And that work helped me lower the demands on myself. Longing until I can do them again !!
It was an okay start to this week, Monday first we had product care, new cut on the material and change to new water .. of course we throw away what has bloomed or otherwise been destroyed or unusable.
When it was ready, there was a lecture on style and cultural history. It was sooo much fun and educational but it was so hard to sit still for that long and try to keep your concentration up at all times. I love history it has always been close to my heart so I enjoyed every second.
After that I was completely exhausted both mentally and physically. It was a little too much information to take in. So I went home when it was ready and I fell asleep almost directly on the couch…
Yesterday, Tuesday, it was a study visit to Stockholm at the Hallwyl museum (palace) unfortunately I did not follow as it had become too much impression and too long day as I am still on sick leave.
But I’m so impressed with today’s technology and possibilities, so I actually visited the museum at their website.
How amazing is not it? It was perfect for me who right now can not stay focused for too long, and can not handle too many people and travel ..
I am a bit jealous of my classmates who were there and saw it for real.
But have promised myself to visit it with Grandma when I feel better.
Link to their website further down…
Today is Wednesday and we will work in groups. It will be fun and exciting .. but I will write about that tomorrow ..
There may be a little longer time between my posts since I’m very tired and dull. I’m on sick leave 25% from this Tuesday .. and all my energy runs out in the morning when I am at school where my focus right now is located.
It’s really boring, I can not cope with anything else .. i come home from school at about 14.00 and falls asleep almost directly on the couch and sleeps almost the entire afternoon .. something that is even more hard is that after I wake up I only eat dinner and then puts me back and sleeps… then the time has been 19.00 and I can fall asleep again at 20.00.
So my life right now is like this… nothing happens… more than that I sleep and is in school .. I am absent there also due to my tiredness and my focus is somewhere else ..
It was not even hard to get up at 06.15 this morning.
Woke up a little tough, but so pissed at school and all fellow students! A whole new week with new challenges and trials. I am the first student in place at school, which is often the case, it helps me to land and adjust without being stressed by others (not their fault but it is due to my diagnoses) .. I am doing my best to be able to facilitate for myself . So the whole day does not get crazy for me…
A strange thing that happened on the way to school was that when I passed Kolbäck (small town in Västmanland) I got such extreme pressure on my chest and a feeling of panic.
It was very hard 😦
Because I do not know where they came from .. or why…
There has been a lot of information to take in today .. Is completely out of my mind… tired and energyless .. So it will be an evening in front of the TV and rest ..
Vi hoppas att du ska trivas med våra ö-inlägg. Oavsett om du bor på ön året runt, kommer hit med jämna mellanrum eller aldrig varit här... Givetvis skulle det varit trevligt om vi kan få dig, som aldrig varit på Gotland, att åka hit för första gången. Vi tror inte du skulle ångra dig. Chansen är betydligt större att du drabbas av samma känslor som Bosse fått varje gång, som vi varit här på semester. Välkomna önskar Bosse och Solveig Lidén!